Child Like Faith

When you are going through convictions in your life you always feel like you are the only one going through them and especially alone. My convictions are not the work of the devil or anything going bad in my life, but maybe just not listening to what Gods will for me is. So in all actuality it probably has the devils backing in the end, but for now I am going to tell you about my convictions and what is going on in order to let you all know that you are also not alone.

In 2005 as College became more of a reality for me I got accepted to a couple different ones and was super excited about my future. I was going to be an architect and build log homes and eventually offer to build non-profit homes. I have always wanted to help people and everything I have ever thought about as a young lady in High School never seemed to be enough. What better way to give back to people and help them then to serve my country. I did not have a single clue as to how to even pay for college. No real guidance or mentorship at all to get to my goals for the future. I knew that the Air Force would allow me so many great things such as an education, medical, dental, a paycheck, a great career, as well as the satisfaction of serving my country and the pride that comes from that. I was in high school when 9/11 happened, and at first did not know much about the military besides the little bit from my dad being in the Marine Corps.

Fast forward to present day and where I am. I have an associates degree in Intelligence Studies and Technology and a Bachelors of Arts in Business Analysis and Management. I completed my BA January 2014 after being in the AF for just over 8 years. You would think at this point in my career after being very successful and getting my education that I should be very happy to move up in the ranks in the AF and move on with my career. It has been a very difficult couple years for me as a wife, mother, military member, and even christian. Difficult as in hard for me to find my identity within all of these. My husband is also in the AF as a Security Forces member (military police) and his job is typically a lot more demanding them mine is since we have had a child. The odds of that staying like that are very slim.

This leads to me doing somethings that are not just about me, but about my family as well as that dream of helping other people! These are the questions I ask myself all the time. Is the comfort of the military and my current job enough to satisfy me for what I want to do and who I want to be (both personally and professionally)? Can I go an do something else, which will require less pay starting out as well as a lot more schooling? Will it make me happier? How can I make the stability better for my family who are military? But more importantly is this what God wants me to do?

I was accepted for a job that is EXTREMELY competitive and one of a kind for the AF overall. In the end they could not find a job out there for my husband and because of that the job was canceled. I am not sure why God had me go through an intense interview process for the end result to be that we did not get it, but I do know that he has His reasons. And knowing that God has something else planned for us was a hard pill to swallow, because I "knew" this was a great job and an awesome experience for me. In the end I allowed God to take control and do what we need to do to make sure He was in control. It took me awhile and a lot of strength from my husband in order to understand that God has this.

My convictions today are answering those questions above and living for Gods Will. This day in age it seems almost impossible to do without sacrificing something of yourself or your family. How selfish does that sound? God sacrificed His ONLY son in order to show us his LOVE. I wish in everything that I still had that child like faith and just "knew" it would all work out according to His plan. For me to sit and write it as if I actually do it would be hypocritical of me…. so I sit here today telling you that I do not listen to God to read his word nearly as much as I should. However, that is exactly why I am writing this today to share with you the things that are going on in my life at just like your life. How amazing would it be to live like Paul did in Acts 21-22? He NEVER once doubted what God had planned even while his own friends wept over him leaving to be burnt and killed. I would not be human if I never questioned or doubted Gods plans for me, but by not even giving him a chance would be like I am not faithful in His plan for me. I learned today that you live for two things: to love God and to love others. Being here on Earth has nothing to do with YOU! While listening to that today at first I did not understand what that meant, but it brought me right back to my current day convictions….

These are leaving the military after 9 years of only knowing it as an adult, going into grad school to work on becoming a Marriage and Family Therapist (3-4 years of school) and soon after my PhD in order to work in areas that I can reach a lot more people in a very personal field. All the while trying to expand my family (currently have 1 child). This would mean full time student, full time stay at home mom, full time stay at home wife, and with very little income on my part. I would take on LITERALLY a whole new life. It takes some serious faith and prayers in order to make decisions like these. ~OR~ Do I stay in the military, make an it a career, go on to maybe do wonderful things for my country alongside my husband? While at the same time leaving my children to far away lands and not being able to get grad school done at all. I could rock the AF, but at what cost to my family and to others that God may want me to reach… I cannot answer either question until God gives me the answer!

My plan is to have that child like faith in the lord and let him lead me…. I believe that in order to get to this point I must read His word and let it lead me to where HE wants me to be. I CHALLENGE each and everyone of you to take out your bibles read a little, pray constantly and open your hearts to God and just know HE has something planned specially for you!

God Bless

~Victoria Clouse


"Read Gods Word; He WILL lead you to where you are to be" - Michael (LifeSpring Church Midtown)

Week 4

This is week 4 of the Trusting God book!!!! This week my focus is more on the actual act of TRUSTING GOD. In this weeks reading it talks about the act of trusting Him is a discipline and it is not natural. When it comes down to it and we KNOW we have to hand our worries over to God we want to "soul-scream". Isn't that exactly how it feels? It can be overwhelming…..But, the Lord wants your attention just as much as your family and worries that comprise of your stress take over your attention.

So this weeks thoughts/questions are:

~As the Lord desires to be sought after and found; what do you do to seek Him not have Him seek you?

~ Do you take time out of each day to thank God?
       -- I know for me before we had Sophia it seemed so much harder because I think we felt like we didn't have much to offer God and now we have Her to show God too. I know that sounds silly, but now our time with God, as limited as it is, is during dinner and bedtime. Will and I also do a weekly devotional and that is our time with each other and God! We do this not only for god and ourselves, but to be that greatest example we can be to our daughter.

~ Someone recently told me about something called a Silent Retreat. Do you ever just rest your soul for the Lord? I have never really thought about it honestly! But I have to say I LOVE the idea of it. What would you do to rest your soul?

~ This is just my personal thought, we should listen to the Lord. He knows that is best and IF and WHEN he answers your prayers He will do it in His own time and own way!

Watch this weeks video and take joy in your time with the Lord.

I end on this Bible verse:

*Discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness. (1 Timothy 4:7)

God Bless,

~ Vickie

Week 3

Good Evening Friends!!! This weeks reading really hit me! I'm going through a lot in my personal life (which has a lot to do with my professional life) and struggling with when and how to trust in God. This should be a no brainer don't you think. I guess for me its hard because I feel like God gives us freedom of choice as you will. He gives us situation's to make decisions for ourselves or does he?!?!? I mean if God is all knowing then he already knows the decisions I will make correct? He is not surprised by anything that is going on in our lives.

With that said even if you did not read this weeks reading or have the book the premise is all about no matter what do you love and trust in God? 

~ Have you ever thought that sometimes you are the unluckiest person in the world? Those times come and go and honestly are inevitable (as stated in the book), but while they hurt it is such an AMAZING feeling when you get past it. It feels like the painful part was so irrelevant to the pleasure you feel now! In the book it says that "scripture assures us that even when we are faithless, God remains faithful". Isn't this the perfect time for us to remain committed to God and Jesus? 

~ How about the song 'Jesus love me this I know…' ok stop singing :)!!! Do you love him back as he loves you? A lot of people feel unworthy of love or feel they do not deserve it. How about feeling deserted by God? Now thats a tough one to even fathom or think about. In the reading it states that the disciples were the ones who felt deserted by God. I imagine in your lifetime you have felt deserted as well, but would you give your life for Him?

~ Remember Jesus in the boat with his disciples and the storm on the Sea of Galilee? Could this not be the perfect way to trust in Jesus? He blatantly asks them to have faith in him and yet they still do not. Do you have faith in him in all you do no matter what, even when the situation does not turn out to your liking?

~ Ok so lastly, think of people you surround yourself with. Do these people show the same if not more faith in the Lord then you? If not how do you think your strength in the Lord is growing if those you surround yourself with have little or no faith? Just a thought to living a more gracious, meaningful life if you struggle with our faith because of those around you!

I could not decide on which verses I liked the most to end this week on so I decided to add both of these:

* Why are you afraid? Do you still have to faith? (Mark 4:40)

*Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today…. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still. (Exodus 14:13-14)

God Bless,

Vickie

Carrot, Egg or Coffee?

Grandmother says... Carrots, Eggs, or Coffee; "Which are you?" A young woman went to her grandmother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose. Her grandmother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her granddaughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they got soft.She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The granddaughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma. The granddaughter then asked. "What's the point,grandmother?" Her grandmother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity--boiling water--but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water. "Which are you?" she asked her granddaughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?" Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level? ~Author Unknown

Have you ever thought that maybe at times when you do want to give up thats the devil knocking on your door? I certainly do! those times are the hardest, because without thought of mind its very easy to just give up. However, someone, somewhere, somehow loves you! Can you believe that that individual is the one who created you, the one who doesn't judge you until your own judgement day, but you have all that time on this plant to think about what type of person you are and what type of person you want to be. All in all that person you create here is the way of life you will live after death. Kind of a weird subject and strange thing to even talk about (after death) so... we will leave that for another time. Tonight above is enough to ponder with the way you live RIGHT NOW!

God Bless!

~Victoria Clouse

I did not forget about you....

It has been awhile this I know!!! I am sorry as I am finishing up school right now (BS in Business Analysis) and after that I am going to focus so much more on this Blog and reading more stories in the bible. Did you know that a man named Job was tested by the devil. The devil said to God that basically he (Job) isn't as strong as God says he is. So God says test him, but don't touch his health.... through terror and torment of having EVERYTHING taken from him from food and cattle to his own children he still worshipped God. God in my eyes laughed at the devil saying see I told you. The devil says let me take his health. While the devil took his health, his wife left him, his friends tried to steer him away from God and thats when God came to Job and his friends and said "Brace yourself like a man, because I have some questions for you, and you must answer them". Job 40:7.... 

All the while you ask God questions, but why not listen and answer some that He may have for you. I knew a little bit about this story, but my husband is the one who shared the in-depth version and my own worded version above. It opened my eyes to the fact that Job never gave up his faith even when his wife left him and his friends were telling him to just stop and give up hope, he NEVER did. You are who you surround yourself with, keep that in mind when someone is telling you that God is not the answer or trying to sway you away from Him. Of course as humans we question things that happen to us and direct it toward God, but in the end who are we to question Gods will??? 

Listen and read the words of this song as I feel it relates whole-heartedly to Jobs faith and then the bible verse above.

I'm not skilled to understand 0:27... What God has willed, what God has planned 0:32

God Bless All of you!

~Victoria Clouse

It has been a while..... Music Time!!!

Sorry I haven't posted lately!  I have been extra busy with home, school, work, and getting ready to change jobs up for 2 months starting on the 1st of July. Pretty excited about it too.

Anyway enough about me! If you have noticed reading a couple of these post I love music. I am the person in the car singing to every song and doing a little dance. I think it expresses how I feel, what I may be thinking and mostly what I wish I could say, but just can't put them into words. So this as been the song on my heart lately. It has to do with Gods unchanging love!!! Its "My God" by Jeremy Camp. Take a listen, read the words as you listen. It may bring something amazing to your heart.

This next song was hard to find on YouTube, however here it is and its called "Just Say Jesus" by 7eventh Time Down. Its basically saying when all else fails look and call out to Jesus. There are things in life that we try to hard to handle and we should leave it to God and his Son. However, i must say that when God is giving you the answer and you choose to ignore it you can only be upset with yourself.  Enjoy!!! Just Say Jesus or try this http://youtu.be/-bNi8WoD3bc

This one is just touching in every word song. I workout to this song, because I feel like it just push's me. I put my head down and just do more weather its lifting or running. If you don't feel pumped after this boy somethings wrong and we need to talk! Enjoy!!!

Lastly, just listen to the words!!! I heard this song the day after I talked to Will (husband) about adopting. Just throwing the idea out there, because I can love I can give so much and when I hear about what parents do to their children or how they treat them I just want to love them. We are great parents (or so we think ;)), but the two of us together do great things and I want to give love to children so they aren't worried about their appearance, what other people think, and they can have someone forever there NO MATTER WHAT! ENJOY! and try not to cry!!!

God Bless each and everyone of you!

~ Victoria Clouse

"My Life" by Paul Thomas Mitchell

While watching America's Got Talent (AGT) tonight this was the last act of the night and WOW was he good. It made me think not only about my own life, but about those who go through so many struggles in their life, it is all for a reason. You go through so many horrible things and end up on top in the end is amazing. God is an awesome God and gifted him with this wonderful voice that I just had to share this with all of you. In times of despair the Lord knows what he is doing. TRUST in the lord!!!

To end this particular post I have a quote I found today which I believe applies now:

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be"

- Douglas Adams              

God Bless!

Victoria Clouse